Wild Beast On The loose In Kilburn, London

I was walking home last night from a fantastic new pub that I have recently discovered, which is located between my flat and Queens Park station. It is so much more me, than those dive bars on Kilburn High Road, when I noticed a wild beast stalking me. Was it the infamous Kilburn Beast, which  I had heard so much about.

It was just a few minutes past midnight and the road, which I was walking down had fairly poor lighting, when I noticed the beast standing staring at me from around 15 feet away, licking it’s chops, like I was going to be it’s next juicy meal.

I thought to myself fuck, is that hairy looking beast with those wild looking eyes, for real or is it my imagination, or was it really one of London’s notorious werewolf’s, my eyes quickly searched the sky to see if it was a full moon. Luckily for me the sky was empty.I blinked and the wild beast had disappeared from my vision. I had only consumed 2 pints of Carling Lager, which is only slightly stronger than water, so I was totally sober. Or so I thought!

I only had a 10 minute walk until I would reach the sanctuary of my home and anyway, monsters and wild beasts only happened in the movies, but then again I was living in London, the craziest city in the world, where anything is possible.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my back as I hurriedly walked home, my nerves were on edge, as I felt  the presence of something stalking me. Maybe I was a rare treat for this wild beast, a Scottish delicacy. This Scotsman however was ready for action and wouldn’t be taken without a fight. Remember when the terrorists tried to attack Glasgow Airport in 2007, Exactly!

I was only a minutes walk from my front door, when from behind me, I heard very faint and stealth like footsteps. I quickly turned around and got a wee glimpse of the sinister looking wild London Beast. It scared the hell out of me, it was uglier than Jack Tweed, but a lot smarter. I was praying that the beast was going to be as tough as Jack Tweed and in that case I would restrain and subdue it in about 5 seconds.

My minutes walk to my front door, turned into a 7 second power walk, and then just as I reached my front door, my keys got tangled up and it took me 2 minutes to free them and open the door. Just in the nick of time, I managed to open the door. I swear I could feel Jacks, I meant to say the Kilburn Beasts warm breath on the back of my neck.

I ran up my the stairs as if Mike Tyson was chasing me and when I looked out my window, I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. All I could see was the bright beady eyes of the Kilburn Beast staring up at me. I grabbed my camera and the good little monster happily posed for a picture, which was rather nice of it.Just when I was about to zoom in for a close up of the scariest looking beast in all of London, it vanished into thin air. I then, honestly heard faint footsteps coming up my stairs, so I quickly grabbed my Tonfa stick, which even Mike Tyson couldn’t handle this thing wrapped over his head.

Just as I was about to open my door and face the Kilburn Beast, my door buzzer starting buzzing. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I apprehensively picked up the receiver and said “Hello who is it”. And I felt so relieved to hear the sweat and sexy voice of my African Princess girlfriend.

I looked out the window to make sure it was really her and not the Beast trying to trick me. As I let her in, what did I see from across the road, yes you guessed it, the Kilburn Beast staring up at me smiling.My African Princess, was going to have to use her heeling hands all over my body, to help me to recover from the trauma of my ordeal of another crazy night in London.

My friend called me today and reassured me that the Beast was probably my guardian angel; man that guy is truly crazy. Why cant I have a guardian Angel that looks like the Bajan beauty Rhianna?

Was it a monster, a beast, an alien or was it simple one of those weird Goths that liked the look of me, I haven’t got an answer, but what I do know, is that it was very real and that London is a very strange place………..

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