A blog about life in London

Useful London Slang Words such as Twat, Tosser and Wanker

Useful London Slang Words such as  Twat, Tosser and Wanker

I have put together a wee list of useful slang words that you are likely to hear used in London, in fact many of the words you will hear all over the UK. Some of them are I suppose kind of rude or swear words that you shouldn’t be using.

The aim of London Is Cool, is not go glorify swear words, it is in fact the complete opposite. My advice is don’t use the swear or rude words I have listed too often, because you will just end up looking like you are cheap, ignorant and that you have no manners. However depending on the situation you will sometimes be forced to use them. Such as when a car blatantly runs a red light or the bus driver pulls off form the stop without letting you on the bus.

I know that many people that come to London as a tourist or to study from foreign shores, that they may not be aware what certain words or phrases actually mean. Lets face it words like tosser or wanker are not likely to taught in schools in Africa, India or Poland and as far I’m aware you wont find them in a teach yourself English in 60 minutes book.

There are literally hundreds of slang words used in London on a daily basis, some of them more often than not. My list is what I would call real, by that I mean you wont find words like spiffing, which I noticed on some Yanks list of useful English words. For fucks sake, the last time I head that word used was? In fact I have never heard anybody use it before in my entire life.

Useful London Slang Words & What They Mean

Anorak: When you call someone this you are not referring to them as being some sort of water proof jacket, you are in fact making a derogatory comment about them. Anorak refers to someone as being a nerd or geek, or people that have boring and useless hobbies such as trainspotting.

Asshole: Basically refers to someone that is annoying or an irritant, such as when the buss driver pulled off without me yesterday, I shouted you asshole. I was basically just reminding him what he is, however he already knew he was one before I reminded him.

Backhander: This common term can have two meanings, firstly it can mean when someone is given a secretive payment to do something, such as, when Donald Trump was trying to push through his plans for his golf courses and housing development beside Aberdeen, say he was to  give various councillors money to approve his plans, that would be a backhander. I’m of course not implying councillors would do anything like that or Donald for that matter, I was  just using it as an example. Secondly it can mean to give someone a hard blow across their face with the back of the hand.

Bimbo: Generally refers to a woman that is of limited intelligence, as well as having very little common sense. I suppose Jordan is a prime example, how the fuck she ever got to where she did with her only real talent, which was two huge silicone implants and getting banged by enough footballers to from her own League is totally amazing.

Boozer: Can be used to describe a pub or bar, or someone that has a drinking problem. Such as, “I’m off down the boozer for a few pints” or “that guy is total boozer”.

Charlie: A common term referred to describe the drug known as Cocaine. Yes the stuff that Mayor Boris is putting into the tap water to make Londoners vote for him.

Chief: It is something that I rarely heard until I started living in London. It can be used as a respectful greeting or it can be a derogatory comment when someone is trying to be overly bossy.

Cunt: This word can be used to describe a females vagina, however it is usually used as an aggressive derogatory statement, or it can also be used in a milder tone, depending on the circumstances and who it is being directed at.

Diamond Geezer: Is a dependable and reliable sort of man.

Dog: This is a term commonly used to describe ugly woman, but I have heard woman use it to describe ugly men as well.

Footie: Used to refer to football, such as, “I’m going to watch the footie”.

Gaff: Has two common meanings, firstly it can be used to refer to where someone lives, such as their house or flat, or it can mean an embarrassing mistake.

Muppet: Used to refer to someone that is stupid or silly, for example it could be used to refer to someone that is about to do something dumb, such as bet that England are going to win the next world cup or that Scotland are even going to qualify. “Don’t bet on them you muppet”.

Naff: Is used to describe something that is of poor taste or poor quality. Such as someone wearing a shinny pink shell suit or American lager.

Numpty: Used to describe a stupid person or someone that is an idiot. You are likely to hear this if you come across any Glaswegians that have been transported to London.

Perl Necklace: Commonly understood to mean when a guy ejaculates over a girls boobs or face, it can result in severe injury if you haven’t had prior consent from the girl before hand. So ask first.

Prick: Is a word used to describe a penis and as you can guess it is used as an insult. If someone calls you a prick it doesn’t mean smile at them and shake their hand, they are not being nice.

Queer: A common term use to term to describe someone that is homosexual, male or female.

Sweet: Often used to describe satisfaction when something good or cool happens.

Swot: Someone that is intelligent or I suppose a nerd, or it can be used to describe when someone studies. So for all you foreign students who have just arrived in London, if you get called a swot you will now know what your classmates are calling you.

Tosser: A word used to describe a male who masturbates and if you get called this it basically means you are an idiot.

Twat: Similar to calling someone a twit, Mayor Boris Johnson is commonly referred to as being one.

Wanker: A term use to describe a male who masturbates and is used as a mild insult.

Yob: Used to describe those people in society that go around causing endless trouble and mayhem with their loutish behaviour.

Wimp: Is someone that is described as being a coward or weakling. Such as the Scottish Parliament and Gordon Brown who I imagine initiated the idea to release the Libyan Lockerbie terrorist, everyone that agreed to it was a spineless wimp. He should have been left to rot and die in jail, not go home to a heroes welcome. I also have a funny feeling he will still be alive for a long time to come.

Please use some of these words with great care, because they  could result in personal injury if you direct them towards the wrong person.

16 Comments

  1. Interesting lesson you have given us.. ;)

  2. someone is always calling me “TWIT”

  3. I am english beginner and i like it.

  4. Your all wankers :P just kidding

  5. I’m a real Eastender and and these slang terms are spot on……or Kosher as we might say. Brilliant!

  6. it’s arsehole not asshole. makes a big difference. an arse is the bit that faeces comes out of an ass is a hybrid between a donkey and a horse.

  7. oh, and twat is not like twit. twit would be acceptable for use between teachers and students whereas twat is more akin to cunt, having the same meaning and though it’s not quite as offensive you’d still get suspended for calling a teacher a twat to their face.

  8. The word ass is and can be used to describe a bottom…So I beg to differ…ASSHOLE…!

  9. There are a few missing. Like, knob (penis or someone being an anoyance), bell end ( the head of a penis, or an idiot), muff diver (a derogatory term for someone who enjoys performing oral sex on a woman).

  10. I forgot my pereonal favourite ‘mug’ used to describe someone who a soft touch & easily conned

  11. biggsy77, thanks for your input, I was trying to keep my list cleanish, well sort of. Mug was one I actually forgot about, which is used by a few of my friends back home in Aberdeen…

  12. These are not restricted to British use at all and are very common and have been for a long time in the US, you wanker!

  13. Rocky ‘big idiot’ Mountain, where do you think all those words orginated…let me tell you…In the UK. Tosser!

  14. It is a good post!Great great,it will help me a lot!I’ll return once more!

  15. Kris, thanks…glad you found the post useful…

  16. ‘Ass’ is for Americans.
    London is in the UK. Hence: ARSE.