Unhappy Londoners Driven Nuts By The Kiss Party

Wednesday evening there were happy people everywhere at Potters Field Park, which is located a few minutes from Tower Bridge, enjoying the Desigual London Kiss Party. Thousands of people from all over the world enjoying the music, dancing, singing, kissing and having a great time. And why not life is about getting out there and occasionally letting your hair down and having some fun.

I should say almost everyone was having fun. I noticed three people that looked like they wanted the ground to open up and swallow everyone but themselves. Each of them seemed to be a wee bit irked that their normally fairly quiet route home was packed full of people. I swear there was steam coming out of each of their ears.

Lets start of with Mr Suit Guy. He had obviously just finished another hard day in the office doing whatever it is he does. You should have seen his face as he fought his way through the throngs of people. His face was full of anger. He was pushing people out of the way. I looked at him as he approached me and thought if you push me like you have just pushed that girl your gonna wish you never. He had sense and walked past me like Mr Nice Guy. What I couldn’t understand is that Mr Suit Guy could have walked along the Embankment where he wouldn’t have had to push past anyone. A real twat!

Next up was a 30 something mother with boobs bigger than my head, who was with her 2  kids and husband. The 2 kids were stopping to enjoy the music and watch the crazy guys dancing on stage. The woman was getting stressed wondering where all these people had come from as she desperately fought her was through  them, dragging her kids along. I haven’t came across many people with Caribbean blood in them that don’t  enjoy a party and a bit of grooving, but this woman looked like she had just arrived in hell, when she was expecting to go to heaven! Learn to chill out and go with the flow woman with the huge boobs! Again it wouldn’t have taken much of a detour to avoid all the people!

Lastly one of London’s most law abiding and righteous citizens, a cyclist! This total twat didn’t want to get off his bike. His ass was obviously glued to his seat, but it was hard enough walking through the crowds, let alone cycling. He had to eventually bite the bullet and drag himself off his lovely bike before he and his bike ended up in the River Thames. He looked like the most unhappy man in the world as he found a way through the people. Another real twat that if he had opened his eyes and taken a slightly different route he wouldn’t have had to get off his bike. This just proves what I knew all along, that cyclists are not just colour blind, but they are totally blind!

Mr Suit, Mrs Huge Boobs and Mr Cyclist all had one thing in common and that is they were all Londoners. I could tell from their stressed out voices that they were all born and bred in this city. And something else that the 3 unhappy people had in common was that they all need to learn to chill out and go with the flow. Or perhaps they all just need to open their eyes instead of walking around with them closed!

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