Turn Me Into An Ice Cube And Then Lick Me Britney

Britney Spears, where would humanity be without her…? I couldn’t help but notice that yesterday she was in the need of some cheap publicity. She must have been out of the news a wee bit too much and what’s the best way for a celebrity to get tons of free publicity…you guessed it, come out with some complete bull shit. “I want to be frozen and brought back to life at a later date, so I can come back and perform in racy outfits.” Of course you do darling!

What happens if Britney lives to a ripe old age of 97, I know its highly unlikely but stranger things have happened. So she would want her wrinkly old decrepit body frozen and then brought back to life again. Sounds like she has the perfect plan…Fucking wackjob!

I personally think it would be a good idea if Britney done it now. Why waste time…I think the world would be a better place without her and maybe in a 1000 years time the mad scientists will be able to bring the dead back to life…! That truly is a spooky thought.

For couple of hundred thousand dollars the Alcor Life Extension Foundation will, cryopreserve you when you die and then at some point in the future when  technology is advanced enough they will bring you back to life. OF COURSE THEY WILL! Alcor have unbelievable been in the business of robbing people, sorry that was a slip of the tongue, I of course meant to say preserving life since 1972. The fact that they are still in business, I can imagine is down to all those rich fuckers who just cant accept that one day you are born and then on another day some point in the future you die. Its  a mad..mad world.

After having a little peek of the Alcor web site they really do make cryonics sound so fucking plausible and believable, they really do…and if I wasn’t so broke I would hand them the money right now. Only joking, I haven’t lost my mind just yet. I don’t believe a word of what they say or claim. I have a funny feeling Alcor have employed some wannabe Star Trek writers in their PR department.

Did you know that according to Alcor that, “Dying is a process, not an event. The purpose of cryonics is to intercept and stop this dying process within the window of time that it may be reversible in the future.” I learn something new every day…I wonder if  being born is not an event either and is just a process?

Believe it or not there are currently 94 patients that have been cryopreserved at the Alco laboratory and 914 members who are eagerly waiting for death so they can be frozen. I find it so funny that Alco call those that have entered their frozen world of make believe, patients and those on the waiting list as members. Fucking hilarious.

I wonder what the average age of the patients at Alco are ? I would hazard a guess and say around 70. Most of them will be quite probably old and their  better looking, fitter and healthier days will have been long behind them, when they become a dead patient…Do they expect that when they wake up in a 1000 years from now and are brought back to life that their body will somehow have miraculously  regressed back to their youth or something. I get it now…they will be mass producing clones and they will be able to choose a new body and face, of course they will…silly me for not having thought of that…

Britney Spears take it form me, I think your original idea as mad as it sounds of turning your ashes into diamonds when you die, makes more sense that becoming a patient of the mad professors laboratory…

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