Tate Modern How It Isn’t A Black Hole

I was out for stroll along the River Thames on Saturday afternoon and I couldn’t resist going into the Tate Modern and seeing what all the fuss is about. The fuss in question is the latest exhibition in the Turbine Hall, that is called “How It Is” by Polish con man Miroslaw Balka, I meant to say artist sorry about that slip!

“How It Is” basically is a huge steel container, which looks more impressive from outside than it actually is. The whole point of this exhibition is, well is there really a point to it? You enter the steel chamber and are supposedly meant to be impressed or something by the darkness.

I had read in one of the free local rags that some clown had walked into the back wall of the chamber and injured themselves. All I can say to that is, give me a fucking breaking. Was the person fucking blind? Or was a it a planned publicity stunt. I get the feeling it was most definitely premeditated.

“How It Is” well I will tell how it isn’t a black hole. You most certainly don’t walk into a great black void when you enter this so called piece of crap, sorry there I go again, I meant to say art installation. It isn’t pitch black in there and that is the bottom line.

When I walked into the dark hole, I thought, expected and hoped that the further I went in, the darker it would get. But alas I could clearly see other people in there  and where I was going. The entrance is just way to big and lets in too much light, for it to ever to become pitch black in there. And no one was using a torch, mobile phones or digital cameras to lighten the thing up. It just isn’t that dark.

I think the highlight of “How It Is” is the fact that the inside is lined with a soft fuzzy material. Wow that truly makes it an mind blowing piece of original modern art.

Anybody that is impressed or thinks this is art, needs to get out more and get a fucking life. If you want to experience a great dark black void, come round to mine and you can spend some time in my cellar. You will walk down the dimly lit stairs and when you reach the cellar floor I will kill the lights. There you will find total darkness and quietness and you will experience a hell of lot more than you will at the Tate Moderns latest con.

I personally feel that sometimes the Tate Modern is truly overrated. There has been some controversy recently over a lack of money coming from the Government for the funding of an extension, well from looking at this pile of junk yesterday, there is no way 10’s of millions of pounds of tax payers money should be wasted on the Tate. Spend the money on more policeman on the street, more teachers in the classroom and improving the NHS.

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