Sinking Into Hell And Where Is That Werewolf Hiding In London

I must admit I’m not a big fan of horror movies, in fact I find them a bit of a bore. More often than not they are so badly done they are more like a second rate comedy, than being genuinely scarey. Last year I literally got dragged to see a movie called, “Drag Me To Hell” and boy was that movie a load of crap. In fact it was seriously crap. Whilst watching the movie I was wishing that a big hand came out of the ground and dragged me to hell, because it would have been more fun than watching that movie.

For me to truly get engrossed in a horror type movie I need it to be slightly believable if you catch my drift. I prefer Dracula or Werewolf movies, quite simply because they are real, HONESTLY they are! I use to work with a guy known as the Count, and he had to be a direct descendant of Count Dracula, he was the scariest thing on two legs I have ever seen.

The other day I went to see the movie called “The Wolfman” starring Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. It was very watchable and believable, HONESTLY it was! I don’t want to go into too much details concerning the movie itself, because I quite simply can’t be bothered. But the concerning thing is that Inspector Aberline from Scotland Yard got bitten and he was based in London. Which can only mean one thing that we have another werewolf on the loose in the Big Smoke. Yikes!

I better go and buy a gun, which shouldn’t be too hard living in London. It’s the silver bullets, which may be a wee bit trickier. Or perhaps I will just stay in the next time there is a full moon. That’s the good thing about werewolf’s is that they only come out when there is a full moon. They are such considerate beasts. And by the way has anybody ever seen Mayor Boris Johnson on a full moon, because there is something quite suspicious about him, HONESTLY.

I was out and about yesterday for a wee wander around the best place in Kilburn for escaping the hustle and bustle of city life, which is of course Paddington Old Cemetery.  I could almost swear that one of the gravestones was slowly sinking. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but the closer I got to the gravestone the more I was certain it was ever so slowly sinking beneath the ground.

I thought back to that crap movie I had recently seen, “Drag Me To Hell” and wondered if  it might be more real than I first thought. I wasn’t hanging around to find out. I got the hell out of there as fast as my two legs would take me. I’m a bounty hunter on the trail of Tony Blair, not some Derek Acorah wannabe ghost hunter.

I’m not sure who that gravestone belonged to or if it is sinking into hell or whether all this recent rain has just created a little bit of subsidence. What do you think……….

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