Rant of the Day: Looking Sex
Rant of the day… in fact this may well be the rant of the year – depending on how things go in 20014.
Thursday January 2, the second day of 2014, I woke up at 9am in morning feeling full of enthusiasm and positivity for life. I was ready, able and willing to deal with whatever this crazy old city of London had in store for me. Nothing would twist my mellow, not even those begging Roma gypsies on Kilburn High Road, not even my neighbour who kindly took my 42 inch television from the delivery driver for me when I was out and kept it! Nothing… nothing… nothing could upset me, nothing would!
Before I hit the road for my first workout of the year, I thought I would check out my emails. I wasn’t expecting much, the PR folks were all on holiday, however I had 2 emails, both from Jigar Patel. The header of the first simply said, “Looking sex” the header of the second email said, “I am looking sex”. Okay, dokay!
Against my better judgement I opened one of the emails – as they say “curiosity killed the cat” or in my case reminded me that there are a lot of crazy desperadoes out there! – it was an email of a few words, “I am single guy and I looking sex . I like any type of sex”. WTF… I never bothered reading the second email.
Why any sane person would email London Is Cool, looking for sex is absolutely in-fucking-sane! This is almost a family friendly kinda blog. Not a sex site, not a looking for sex site, not a dating sex, not an affair seeking site. Not an anything to do with sex site! I just don’t get the connection between Jigar’s desperate desire for “any kind of sex” and this blog about my adventures.
My advice to Jigar is simple. He has four choices. Firstly, he could, as the Catholic priest would call it, indulge in some self abuse. Secondly he could find a prostitute, there are after all thousands of woman selling themselves for money all over London. Thirdly he could wait until his parents finally sort out the arranged marriage for him! Fourthly he could just take a cold shower. What he shouldn’t do, what he doesn’t need to do, what doesn’t make any sense, is contacting London Is Cool, me yours truly William K Wallace and telling me that he needs sex, any kind of sex.
Just in case anybody out there wants a piece of Mr Exciting, Mr Desperate, Mr In Need, Mr Jigar Patel you can contact him at Divyangpatel5882@yahoo.co.uk…