Rage Against Christmas | It’s A Fucking Conspiracy

You would have to be living in a cave on the Outer Hebrides not to be aware of the battle for this years Christmas No1 single. Who will win, I will tell you who has won. It is of course the record company Sony. Both contenders for the Number 1 single are released by you guessed it, Sony, isn’t that a coincidence or what?

The contenders for the No1 Christmas single in the UK are of course some American meat heads called Rage Against the Machine with their single “Killing in the Name” and the recent X Factor Winner Joe somebody or other and his rather bland Karaoke sorry I meant to say cover version of whatever the song that was originally a hit for some teen American girl. What is it with Americas sick and twisted obsession with teenage girls.

In the name of research I have listened to both singles and they are both garbage. Lets face it the British UK Christmas number 1 is very rarely any good. All I have to say is Cliff fucking Richards, how many Christmases has he ruined with his pathetic and cheesy songs. The last time there was a decent number 1 at Xmas was when Bob the Builder topped the charts or perhaps Benny Hill, oh yeah!

This years anti X Factor or is it a anti Simon Cowell or a anti whatever campaign was started by a couple of Goons on Facebook. They were supposedly fed up with the X Factor juggernaut constantly hijacking the Christmas Number 1. So somehow they have managed to get thousands of sheep to start buying the single from their favourite band.

I’m finding it all rather amusing and I personally wouldn’t be surprised if at the bottom of the whole thing there isn’t a conspiracy lurking in the shadows. Sony I feel are at the bottom of the whole thing. They are pulling the strings and have been from the beginning. They are one of the worlds truly evil companies, that are capable of anything in the name of making even more profits. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Facebook Goons that started this whole thing off, aren’t holidaying in Barbados this Christmas with Simon Cowell.

I was having a wee laugh at the comments made my the worlds best known chav Cheryl Cole who was of course Joe what’s his name mentor on the X Factor. Chav Cole was quoted as saying, “If that song, or should I say campaign, by an American group is our Christmas number one I’ll be gutted for him and our charts.” I don’t quite get the point of what she is saying? Joe is singing a cover version of song made famous by a teen American girl and written by American song writers. At least Rage Against the Machine wrote the song themselves.

Her fellow judge on X Factor Louis Walsh made an equally ludicrous statement when he said , “This is taking the fun out of the race for Christmas number one”. Who the fuck his he trying to kid, it is the opposite, it has put the fun back into the race for the top spot, because before this sheep started following the sheep thing began it was a foregone conclusion that Joe’s piece of drivel would get to number 1. I just wish it was decent song, on an independent label by a decent artist and not some American crap.

I’m clearly not an X Factor fan, but I keep hearing the statement that the British public are sick to death of the show. Really? It seems to me that the viewing figures for this years show have been pretty dam good, and the profits made from the show through advertising are phenomenal. It doesn’t look like the X Factor is going go die anytime soon. Just wait for the next auctions to begin.

The X Factor is nothing more than a bit of weekend entertainment for millions of British people that have got nothing better to do than be glued to the box. It has become a bit of focal point for many people and if it helps to brighten up the  lives of millions of people it cant be a bad thing. As well as giving some people their 15 minutes of fame.

For me X Factor is not really a talent competition, it is more like a popularity contest. Whoever wins the show is whoever Simon Cowell and Sony want to win. Do you not think that the song choices that the contestants are given along with faked votes have a lot to do with whoever wins? Whoever wins is whoever they think will make them the most money.

I have just looked into my crystal ball and it has predicted the future for Joe what’s his name? His second single taken straight from off the Karaoke machine hit list will reach the dizzy heights of 97 in the charts selling around 187 downloads all bought by drunken Geordies and his family. By the time the next X Factor auditions begin Joe will be long forgotten and will disappear as quickly as he arrived. If he is lucky he will be singing in an overrated and overpriced Andrew Lloyd Webber musical in the London West End.

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