Oxford Street Invaded By Umbrellas and A Crazy Midget Girl

Oxford Street London…a street that I would personally rather avoid at all costs. It does my head in big time. To say I hate it, is an understatement.

Shops, shops and more shops is what you will find on Oxford Street, in fact there are over 300 of them on what is Europe’s biggest and busiest high street. And people…lots of people, of all shapes and sizes, including a crazy midget girl.

There is a  big party happening in London tonight…the Subject60 party to be precise, which is all about the launch of the all new naughty S60 Volvo, which is taking place at The Sorting Office on New Oxford Street. That was the reason I was braving Oxford Street, I needed to get something new to wear, and where better to head to than a street with hundreds of shops.

I arrived at  Oxford Circus tube station ready for my trip to hell…As usual the station was fucking packed full of people pushing, people with no manners and people that badly needed to go take a shower. I felt like screaming at the top of my voice…but I restrained myself. Calm thoughts brought me back from the brink of madness.

I escaped the crowded tube station and stepped onto Oxford Street, the rain started to get quite heavy and the street become a sea of umbrellas. There were umbrellas every fucking where, and this being London, if you are not careful you could get both your eyes poked out in an instant and the fucker wouldn’t even bat an eyelid.

The rain was starting to get heavier as I fought my way through the sea of umbrellas, narrowly avoiding having my eyes poked on a number of occasions. Why people have to try and walk fast pushing people out the way when they are carrying an umbrella on a packed street sure as hell confuses me. Its only rain and some of them could have done with the water on their skin!

The lights were at green and the cars were moving forward, which for those that have any sense means that you stand and wait patiently for the lights to change, unless you want to get your ass run over. Not crazy midget girl… She jabs her umbrella into my back and then does it again and tries to push me out the way…WTF!

I asks her if she is blind, and can she not see that I’m standing here for a reason. She then growls at me, “well get out the way, your in my way you fool.” I laughed because I truly found her funny. A speeding midget girl was giving me a hard time. I said “I could get out the way, but tough luck I ain’t.” If she had manners I would have gladly let her walk in front of me and straight into a car.

She calls me prick and at that moment the green man starts flashing and everyone could get on their merry little way again…I says to her, “your maybe a wee bastard but you have huge chip on your fucking shoulder.” She bit me on the knee cap and stormed off. I was only kidding about the bite on the knee cap, that was just my dark sense of humour kicking in…

Related posts:

1. Christmas Lights – Picture of the Week
2. Faces Through the Oxford Street Crowds – 101 Londoers Picture Series