Is This The Worst Beach In The World

London may be the coolest city in the world. And by saying that I’m not implying that it is the best city in the world to live in, because it sure as hell ain’t. I could give you countless reasons about what makes London a cool city, but that will have to wait for another day and the bad things about living in London, again that will have to wait for another day…Today it is all about the worst beach in the world, which can be found in the City of London.

When I was living in Barbados I just loved all those amazing beaches they have on that beautiful island. There is nothing quite like going for a dip in the Caribbean Sea after a hard days work. Or if I was feeling a wee bit more energetic I would go for a bit of boogie boarding at the more rugged Atlantic Ocean side of the island.

Even back home in Aberdeen and the North East of Scotland we have some mighty fine beaches, great places to go for stroll. Not quite so good for swimming in. The last time I swam in the chilly North Sea was 1977…Way to fucking cold for me.

London City may be quite a few miles from the sea, but believe it or not this crazy, too crazy at times city has got its, very own beaches. I use the term loosely because  having a few grains of disgusting looking sand, which in my mind resembles builders sand and the oily polluted water of the River Thames isn’t exactly paradise, but never the less, there are what I guess could be called beaches running along the South Bank of the Thames.

The foreshore or London’s beach if you prefer was opened to the public in July 1934. It was the brainwave of King George V that this stretch of the Thames was turned into a man made beach. People actually use to swim in the water, the thought makes me feel sick. You could hire a deck chair and enjoy the view of the polluted dark looking water and there was even rowing boats for hire. Between 1934 and 1939 an estimated 500,00 hardy souls braved the River Thames beach.

Once upon a time and I find this hard to believe, but it is seemingly true…London’s man made beach was known as London’s “Riviera”. I personally feel that must be some kind of sick, sick joke. Whoever conjured up that name had obviously never been to the French Riviera.

When the sun is shining in London, certain parts of London’s foreshore can almost get as packed as those beaches I use to frequent in places like Ibiza and Corfu when I was younger. The last place I would head to in London when the weather is nice, is down to the River Thames beach. All the rubbish strewn all over the place and if you look closely at the water you can see motor oil floating on it. I find it a depressing place, as opposed to a good place to relax. I however enjoy walking along the banks of the River Thames and believe me the water looks much better from a distance.

It seems like the only time the Mayors Office take the cleaning of South Bank of the Thames foreshore seriously is when an event is on. What about making an impression all the time as opposed to when the Mayors Thames festival is on? Oh yes why indeed Boris, and I don’t want to here some shit about ugly looking mongrel dogs!

It is official “London Is Cool” and the legendary blogger William K Wallace have bestowed the award of “The Worst Beach In The World” to the River Thames beach. It was my pleasure. Just keeping things real…

It is a nice warm day in London today and one of my craven desires has appeared and it doesn’t involve going down to the River Thames beach, but it involves ice cream. I heard through the grapevine that there is an Italian ice cream place in Chalk Farm called “Marines Ices” and they are the business. I have an appointment in Camden at lunchtime and once that is done I’m on a mission to find out if the Marines Ices of Chalk Farm is as good as they say. I also plan on doing my “Not Quite Gordon Ramsay” thing again later today, when I attempt to make Scotch Broth, which should be fun and hopefully it will taste as good as the soup my mum use to make.

Related posts:

1. Down At The River Thames Beach
2. The Ducks Day Out At The London Beach – Picture of the Week
3. Pictures Of A Wee Night Time Walk Along The River Thames