How To Vacation For Free In London: For Broke Backpacker Types Only

As most of us are aware we are in the midst of a world recession, it is all doom and gloom. I know that  for the backpacker brigade that it cant be easy, especially for those who are working there way around the world.

I have heard through the grapevine, how hard it is to get even a minimum wage crap job in London. And if are lucky enough to get one, (I’m not sure if lucky is a good word to use), the fuckers are gonna make you work like a slave for the pittance they are paying you. Tough times indeed.

However it is not all doom and gloom, I have a few good ideas as to how backpacker types can holiday in London for free. You are not hallucinating, it is true, you can vacation totally for free in London. And by free I mean, free accommodation, free food, free tourist attractions, free transport and even free money. It doesn’t get any better than that.

1. Free Accommodation: London is an unbelievable expensive city to stay in, even flea ridden hostels are expensive here. But fear not, it is possible to find a free roof over your head.

Squatting seems to be a popular way of obtaining free accommodation in London. It is legal, sometimes necessary and most definitely free. And if you can find the right squat a hell of lot better than a hostel. The only costs involved are changing the front door lock and some bolts.

Squatting is all about making use of an unoccupied building, it is illegal to break into such buildings. The bottom line is that squatting is free, legal and for the broke traveller it can be ideal.

Some words of wisdom for potential squatters never indulge in criminal damage to gain entry to an unoccupied property. It is the local druggies and kids that do such things, you just happened to come along the next day and take advantage of the situation!

If the prospect of squatting appeals to you, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find some place to stay in London. Just do your research and you will eventually find what your looking for, Google.

If squatting doesn’t appeal to you, just pretend your protesting about something and pitch a tent beside Parliament Square. I can imagine it would be bit noisy but bring some ear plugs with you.

2. Free Food: For many people the prospect of free food  is good news, but the not so good news is how you go about finding your free food.

You will have to become a Freegan and put a little bit of effort into hunting and gathering your food. Another term I have heard used to describe Freegan’s is bin scavengers. Are things becoming a bit clearer now.

The Freegan movement has become a way of life for some people, not only in London, but in  many major cities all over the world. I’m not talking about tramps scavenging through bins looking for some scraps to eat, but normal educated people.

You will go hunting for your food undercover of darkness, armed with a torch, gloves, rucksack and scour thorough the bins of markets, supermarkets and high street stores after closing time. Your prize is all the nearly out of date food that has been thrown out. It is actually cheaper and less hassle for supermarkets to throw stuff out than deal with it responsible.

It is not seemingly as disgusting as it sounds and some Freegan’s haven’t bought food for years. I have heard it said that once you get your food home and give it a good wash, there will be no difference to food bought fresh from a supermarket.

3. Free Tourist Attractions: London maybe one of the most expensive cities in the world and I can testify to that fact, it sure as hell aint cheap here. However one area where London does excel, is in free places to visit and I don’t mean shitty second rate museums, but quality places.

There are an abundance of free world class museums to visit in London, such as Tate Modern, British Museum, National Maritime Museum, Royal Observatory and many more, as well as all the beautiful Royal Parks and much, much more.

To find out more about the many free things to do and places to visit just read this blog, London Is Cool.

4. Free Transport: London is a city, which is fairly easy to travel around in, considering how huge it is. London Underground is efficient most of the time, unless the fuckers are on strike or there are line closures. I cant complain too much about the bus system either.

However travelling around London can be expensive, especially for broke backpackers. So if you want free transport in London, get yourself a good map and a comfortable pair of shoes and get ready to do a lot of  walking.

If you are lucky enough to have a bendy bus going in your direction, they are free. I’m only having a wee laugh of course, they are not meant to be free but very few people seem to pay on them. The trick is to have an Oyster card, and if you see the inspectors coming onto the bus, swipe your card!

Another free method of transportation in London is cycling. You just have to acquire a bike. You can of course steal a bike, which seems to be legal in London. I can only go by what I have heard form people I know. If you get your bike stolen when it is chained up or even worse, thugs knock you off your bike, then beat you and steal it, the cops wont do shit. In fact I know for a fact the best advice the cops will give you, is what car boot sale you are likely to be able to buy it back from!

I’m of course only indulging my dark sense of humour when I say steal a bike. Why not just go to the car boot sale and buy one for £20.

5. Free Money: You may be wondering how you can get free money, it is quite simple really. No real talent or skill is required. In fact it is so simple anybody can do it.

Head down to the South Bank of the Thames and become a human statue for a couple of hours every afternoon. Get yourself a little box to stand on, paint your face and hands gold or sliver and you will make a few bob. You thought I was kidding when I said free money, it doesn’t get any easier than that. I’m not sure how much money you will make, but if you are lucky and look ridiculous enough you will make enough for a few beers.

Who says, “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch”, I have proven that you can holiday or as the Yanks like to say you can vacation quite easily for free in London. There we have it, free accommodation, free food, free tourist attractions, free transport and even free money. I never said it was gonna be easy, but never the less it can be done.

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