How To Survive The London Heat Wave

I have put together a wee list of survival tactics that will help you to get through this crazy London heat wave in one piece. The worst thing is that we aint seen the worst of it yet, it is seemingly going to reach a peak of around 33c on Thursday, man is that going to be hot.

I personally find the heat in London, unlike anything I have experienced anywhere else in my life. And believe me that is saying something, I have lived in the Caribbean, worked in the Jordan Valley in Israel and sunbathed at the great Pyramids of Giza in Egypt and I’m finding the London heat hard to cope with.

I think what makes the heat so unbearable in London is the lack of any breeze, how I wish they would send some of that North Sea breeze down from back home in Aberdeen for me, also the fact that London is so built up and the huge amount of pollution in the air, all combine to make the temperature like being in hell.

How To Survive The London Heat Wave

1. Head to the local park and find a nice spot, strip down to as little as possible. Unroll your tartan rug and lie down and then get your girl to shield you from the rays of the sunshine with a large umbrella. Also make sure she regularly moves the position of the hand held fan with cooling water spray, at regular intervals to make sure you stay properly cool.

2. Always make sure you have a constant supply of ice cold lager in your fridge, and when you head to the park make sure you have an ice box to keep them nice and cold.

3. Stop rushing around, slow down and walk slowly. Follow the example set by the African and Caribbean people and take your time, when your walking along the road. I know this one may be impossible for most people in London, who are always rushing around like they are Japanese tourists on Speed.

4. When its time to get naughty with your girl, get her to do all the work, by this I mean get her to go on top and make sure she keeps the hand held fan with cooling water spray pointed at your face at all times. I unfortunately never had one this morning, but there is one on the way from Amazon!

5. This one is probably the least important survival tip, but never the less it is recommended! Try to always make sure you have a large bottle of water where ever you go, that is if you have the energy to carry it. But I suppose that’s why the girls there!

6. My final and most vital element of making sure my survival tips work according to plan, is that you need to have a very understanding and accommodating girl for things to work properly.

There we have it, my simple but very effective London heat wave survival tips, which will surely make your life is a lot more pleasant.

Related posts:

1. Who Says The Weather Is Always Miserable In London
2. I Need To Be Beside The Seaside | Escape From London
3. London Heatwave Feels Like It Really Has Arrived
4. Extortionate London Lollies And The Crazy Scotsman
5. Severe Winter Weather Conditions In London