How To Open A Bottle Of Beer Without A Bottle Opener

How to open a bottle of beer without a bottle opener is not really something that  I have had to deal with before, until last night when the problem was staring me straight in my face. Why didn’t they teach me useful stuff when I was in the Boy Scouts?

Last night just as Big Ben was announcing to the City of London that it was midnight, I was pulling an ice cold bottle of Heineken out of my freezer. I was all set to put my feet up for a couple of hours, watch some crap American television programs and drink some beer.

Just as I was opening my perfectly chilled bottle of Heineken it all went wrong, my bottle opener snapped…it broke into two pieces. They don’t make bottle openers like they use too, I have only had it for about four years! I loved that bottle opener, it had  seen me through numerous trying times all over the world and now it was gone for ever.

I had a wee problem. I had four bottles of nicely chilled bottles of Holland’s finest brew and nothing to open them with…nightmare! I knew there had to be a way to open a bottle of beer without a bottle opener, I just had to figure it out. I wondered what Harry Potter would do in a situation like this…probably wave his wand around and say a few words of magic, but this is real life and that crap only works in a world of make believe.

I once new a guy that use to open bottles of beer with his teeth, but I like my teeth the way they are and a visit to the dentist is something that I would rather avoid!

Thanks to the magic of the internet and Youtube I found there was a variety of ways to open a bottle of beer without a bottle opener. How did I manage in the days before the World Wide Web took over the world.

I found a video by a professional American bar tender called Mo Harris, who could open a bottle of beer with a piece of paper. In fact the video couldn’t be more perfect, as the beer he was using in his demonstration was a bottle of Heineken.

I could to that, I grabbed myself a sheet of printer paper and carefully followed Mo’s instructions on how to fold it,  he reliable informed his viewers that they made weapons out of paper in prison. Mo made it look simple. I gave it a go, I tried to pop the top off with my carefully folded sheet of paper. It never budged, after about 5 attempts nothing was happening. I then tried to force the cap off with the paper and just as I did so the paper slipped and I ended up with four small cuts on two of my fingers that started to bleed like crazy…WTF!

By the time my fingers stopped bleeding my bottle of Heineken had lost it’s chill. I grabbed another beer out of my freezer and watched another one of Mo’s videos. This time he was using a spoon and again he made it look easy. And thankfully, this time it was fairly easy. It worked liked a dream and the cap popped off the bottle in a few seconds with by  using a  little teaspoon.

Opening a bottle of beer without a bottle opener really is simple task, and I would recommend learning how to do it, before you need to!…oh and I wouldn’t adivse the paper method, it is a danger to your health!

For those of you that would like to actually see how Mo Harris effortlessly opens a bottle of beer with just a spoon you can watch the video at Youtube:  Open a Beer Bottle Using a Spoon

 

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