A blog about life in London

Don’t Be Afraid Citizens Of London

Don’t Be Afraid Citizens Of London

I had a real dilemma yesterday afternoon, I had run out of bottled water and I was craving a glass of it. My options were simple. All I had to do was turn on the tap and pour myself a glass or walk to the shop and buy some. Option one wasn’t going to happen in a million years.

I personally haven’t let a drop of London’s tap water down my throat for over a year. It has more chemicals in it than Kate Moss has in her body. The stuff is poisonous, when I first arrived in London I drank the stuff for a couple of weeks and I had a constant sore throat. I stopped drinking it and just like magic I was right as rain again in less than a few hours.

So off I wandered to Express branch of Sainsbury’s for some Scottish mineral water, which is a real bargain at 40 pence for a 2 litre bottle. Sainsbury’s are normally a bit of rip off and I try to avoid the place, but needs must as they say.

I walked into the place and grabbed four bottles of real water from Scotland, which is so much tastier and healthier than that poisonous stuff that comes out the taps in London. No wonder there are so many crazy people in London, it is because of tap water, HONEST.

It was only 4pm and there was a fucking queue from hell. I thought WTF. There was about 10 people waiting to be served and one person manning a checkout. I however noticed the 5 self service checkouts were empty. I know some people find those self service checkouts a pain in the ass, but if you only have a few items what can go wrong. If something did go wrong there was a customer services guy  overseeing the self service checkouts.

So this was the picture, 10 people in the queue waiting to be served. One person manning the checkouts. 5 free self service checkouts, with one guy overseeing them to make sure you don’t rob anything or is that help you if you get stuck. I cant understand why everyone was so afraid to scan the couple of items they each had. And I think the guy at the checkout was purposely going slow because he was so pissed people weren’t using the self service checkouts.

I scanned my water and paid and was out of there in a couple of minutes. And by this time the queue was even bigger and everyone was ignoring the customer service guys attempts to get them to serve themselves. I know hearing the machine blurt out those immortal words “unexpected item in the bagging area” can drive a sane man to the edge of insanity. My personal way to deal with it is to tell it to, “get real” and that usually sorts it out.

Citizens of London don’t be afraid of self service checkouts, I know they can be a pain in the ass sometimes. But if you get stuck or confused just put your hand up like you did when you were a little school kid and ask for help. Talk nicely to the machine and it will work perfectly well for you. Well most of the time.



  1. “Get real!” That is seriously hilarious. Really cool blog. Thank you!

  2. You had a sore throat when you first got here because you did not have immunity to whatever local diseases and bacteria were going round last winter.

    I get the same thing when I go to other countries for the first couple of days. The water is fine.

  3. Before I arrived in London, I lived in Barbados for 9 months and I never had one single thing wrong with me during my adventure there, and I drank at least a litre of tap water every single day.

    I’m 100% certain that whatever countless chemicals that they use to clean the water in London to make it safe to drink has an allergic effect on my throat. I have never had this problem in least 15 different countries where I have quite happily drank the local water straight out of the tap in abundance.

    I know from personal experience that London tap water has an adversed effect on some people and likewise plenty of people drink it without any problems.

    And on top of that I honestly feel it tastes disgusting. I drank the tap water back home in Scotland, every single day for 30 something years and the stuff tastes delicious. But such is life and I don’t mind spending a few pennies a day buying decent drinking water….Each to there own as the saying goes…..!

  4. Self service checkouts are major harbours of bacteria. Plus the principle of being made to work to pay for your shopping is just terrible. I avoid self service like the plague.

    These things are making people lose jobs, and in effect making it more difficult for you to find a job if you ever had to.