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Congratulations You Have Just Won The Lottery | BOLLOCKS!

Congratulations You Have Just Won The Lottery | BOLLOCKS!

Congratulations you have just won the lottery, HONESTLY you have. I may have never bought a ticket for the Swiss-Lotto  in my life. But magically I somehow own a winning ticket. Isn’t life fucking sweet sometimes.

I logged into the email account of a  blog that I very rarely visit, it is a part of project that is  on the back burner until a later date. There must have been about 50 emails waiting for my urgent attention. You know the usual professional bullshitter scammmers from Nigeria and India offering me untold riches for, well I’m not too sure what for, because I basically never get past the first few lines because they are so fucking funny that I have to stop reading before I die of laughter.

I must have had about 6 emails over the past 3 months from the Swiss-Lotto  urgently trying to contact me so that I can claim my prize of 750,000 Euros. Thank you very much guys for your kind generosity, the money will come in very useful!

These clowns are one brain cell smarter than most scammers, they have came up with a carefully thought out and cunning plan as to how I have won a lotto that I have never heard of and for that matter have never entered. The scary thing is that some suckers fall for these sort of scams. P T Barnum sure as hell knew what he was talking about when he said those famous words all those years ago, “there is a sucker born ever minute”.

I have to hand it to these scammers they have given me the best laugh I have had for a long, long fucking time. My favourite bit just has to be, “This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted d abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements”, that is a touch of undoubted class!

Because I’m in a humorous mood today. I sent them off some fictitious details of a Mr John Doe, who resides in Paddington Old Cemetery. Thank you Swiss-Lotto scammers for helping to bring a smile to my face. Go get a real job you bunch of fucking losers or better still rot in hell….

Here is the scammers email, read it for yourself and tell me if it isn’t hilarious….

Subject: *CONGRATULATORY MESSAGE FROM SWISS-LOTTO!!!

From: “Swiss-Lotto” <swisslotto1200009@gmail.com>

Date: Tue, February 16, 2010 11:43 pm

Priority: High

SWISS-LOTTO NETHERLANDS

FRANCOSTRAAT 40,

3067DV, LAIDEN.

NETHERLANDS

https://www.swisslotto.ch

CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON 750,000 Euros

You have been awarded the sum of 750,000 Euros in the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite Software email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by Software powered by the internet through the worldwide website.

Your email address was amongst those chosen this year for the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite lottery. And this promotional program is proudly sponsored by the SWISS-LOTTO organization.

Your email address attached to Ref number 5, 7, 14, 17, 18, 43 with Serial 10, and consequently won the lottery in the “A” Category. You have therefore been approved the lump sum pay out of 750,000 Euros. Number 1979-12 drew the lucky.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European Booklet representative. In View of this, your winning prize will be released to you by our fiduciary agent located In the Netherlands .Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your winning funds As soon as you

Contact them.

This promotion takes place annually for security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning details confidential till your claims is processed and your winningfunds remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to Claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted d abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements.

To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent:

Mr. Fred pathius

Email: remitdept@aol.nl

Tel: +31-617-275-876

Provide him with the informations as stated below:

(1) Name:

(2) Address:

(3) Marital:

(4) Age:

(5) Sex:

(6) Nationality:

(7) Country of Residence:

(8) Occupation:

(9) Telephone Number:

(10)Fax Number:

(11)Draw Number above:

These details facilitate the due process and the release of winnings to avoid unnecessary delays and complications in the processing of your Winnings. Congratulations once more from all members and staff of this program.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Sarah Van Norris

Online Games Director

SWISS-LOTTO NETHERLANDS

FRANCOSTRAAT 40,

3067DV, LAIDEN.

NETHERLANDS

https://www.swisslotto.ch

I wonder how many people actually respond to such an obvious scam thinking that it  is for real. I suppose the reason that the scammers keep on coming up with bull shit like this is  because suckers fall for it…