Big Girl, Bigger Girl and Even Bigger Girl

I was walking down Kilburn High Road around 8am this morning, when I encountered 3 wild looking beasts that looked like they had just escaped from London Zoo. Big girl, bigger girl and even bigger girl were taking up the whole of the pavement as they walked down the road, whilst they munched on their Big Macs and slurped on Milkshakes…WTF, it was only 8am.

The ground was virtually shaking with every synchronised step the three young ladies took, they were on a mission and anybody that got in their way would likely end up trampled to death. People were having to jump into doorways and walk on the road to get out of their way. I don’t know if they were still tanked up from the night before, on drugs or whether the junk food was giving them a buzz or what, but they were on something.

Big girl, bigger girl and even bigger girl very clearly needed to be put back in their cage. I watched from a safe distance as the skinny little guy that was with them got burnt on his neck with a lighter by the medium sized elephant…I meant to say girl. If I was that guy I would have given her what she was clearly asking for and that is a slap on the chops. If you can’t take shit back don’t do it is my motto, whether your a man or woman!

I virtually had to walk on the middle of the road as I passed them by, if any of them stood on my foot it would have been broken in an instant. And as I got closer to them, there was putrid horrid smell in the air. The 3 girls stunk worse than pigs. As soon as I got home I emailed London Zoo, telling them I had just seen their 3 escaped elephants and they were littering up Kilburn High Road with McDonald’s wrappers.

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