Anyone for Pussy Cat Stew | London Cat Kidnappers

I hit a mental block last night during my writing session for the book I’m putting together, so off I went for a wee wander around Kilburn in search of inspiration. It was around 9.30pm and day light had turned to darkness. I didn’t have any particular route in mind, apart from that I would avoid South Kilburn as I didn’t want to get shot, stabbed or mugged!

For over an hour I strolled around aimlessly, hoping that something would ignite in my brain and take my book onto the next stage. But unfortunately nothing was happening, my mind had went into melt down. Normally when I stroll around Kilburn at night I would find some source of inspiration or come across some crazy lunatic that would become a character in my book.

I was walking along Brondesbury Road heading back to my gaff, when I had almost caught up with the couple in front of me, they must have been slow walkers because I originally seen them from about half a mile away. They were a Vietnamese couple and the woman was carrying the biggest cat I had ever seen in my life, it was fucking huge. I thought you should get the fluff ball a lead and let it drag you along the road!

Suddenly from out of nowhere an old woman whispered at me. I almost jumped out of my skin, I had been in another world thinking about my book, that I had never noticed her. I said ‘pardon I never caught what you said’, she said, ‘did you see those Chinese people in front of you with the big cat’ I of course had. ‘Well they have kidnapped the cat and are going to turn it into stew.’…WTF, I looked at the old woman she had crazy looking eyes, she was clearly not the full shilling.

She told me to do something to save the cat from a fate worse than death…what? I told her they weren’t even Chinese and that they were Vietnamese. I had seen them wandering around a few times before, but not with the cat! She told me how I would I like it if someone my stole cat and turned it into a stew. I haven’t even got a cat. I sympathised with the woman and said I would catch up with the cat kidnappers and save that big old pussy. She told my I’m a good boy and off she went.

I thought she is as mad as a hatter…a few seconds later came across  a notice pinned to a tree, saying lost cat and the next street I wandered onto there was another notice for another different lost cat and then closer to home, there was another notice for little lost dog. I was thinking surly not, they cant really be stealing peoples pets and eating them…no way. The woman had made me think crazy thoughts. People don’t steal peoples cats and dogs in London and then take them home and turn them into stew do they?

I was trying to get the thought of that big fluffy cat been eaten out of my head, I love cats and dogs, you don’t fucking eat them, well not in this country. I reassured myself it was probably one of those foxes that was kicking around Kilburn that had eaten the missing pets, that wasn’t quite so bad, that was just nature.

I was almost home, when I noticed an old man about thirty feet in front of me shouting like crazy…WTF, it didn’t look like he was shouting at anybody. He was very clearly drunkish and when I walked past him he was talking to a cat…WTF, he was having an argument with a pussy cat that was just staring at him.

Just another crazy night in Kilburn…I love this area.

Related posts:

1. Wanted Dead Or Alive Big Reward