5 Very Uncool Things About London

It is a fact that London is the coolest city on the entire planet, it is a cutting edge place that is the centre of the Universe. London has got it all, culture, history, cool people, home to ground breaking art and fashion. I was going to say music but sadly I feel that London may have lost its way and is lagging behind. Karaoke shows like X-Factor have really fucked up the music industry.

I better back track a bit here, I could go and write a book about what makes London so fucking cool. Instead I’m going to discuss some I suppose minor things that are so uncool about “The Big Smoke”. I guess no city in the world is perfect, hell I lived in Barbados for 9 months and I could write another book about the things I hated about living there, as well as the many things I loved about the place.

5 Very Uncool Things About London

1. Rude People: I think London could well be the capital of rude people, whether its people banging into you in the street, the supermarket, the tube or when someone wants to get past you in a crowd, the word sorry or excuse me doesn’t seem to exist in this crazy city.

2. Road Users: By that I mean car, bus, lorry drivers as well as cyclists etc, they are out of control in this city. They constantly reinvent the highway code here. No one seems to understand that the red light means stop and that the green man means it is time for the pedestrians to cross the road.

3. Expensive: Sometimes London is unbelievable expensive, especially if you want to eat out, or drink in bars and clubs, as well as visit certain tourist attractions. This city is the sort of place that could seriously bankrupt a party animal, unless you are of course rich. Or a second rate celebrity that can con all those crap magazines with your latest bullshit.

4. London Underground: The tube system in London is not only expensive but it is at times unbelievable unreliable, if I could get £10 for every time there are delays or a weekend when the Jubilee line is shut down at the weekend, I would be able to party every day of the week.

5. Mayor Boris Johnson: There is something about buffoon Boris that I hate, along with the fact he is a real posh Tory twat. He reminds me on the typical Eaton, Oxford educated asshole that believes in tax cuts for the rich and that the working classes are just peasants.

London Is Cool, but it is also sometimes uncool, but that is life and fortunately the crap of this city is not enough to make me want to move anywhere else,  just yet!

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